I Ran Away
by Sootfire
Summary: Pain. That's one word Cloudfire truly understands the meaning of. It's simply shocking how having a friend can lead to so much sadness and horror. In fact, it leads to so much death, in Cloudfire's case. And she runs. This is a challenge one-shot for Dawn of These Clans. Please read!


**Hello! Thank you for reading this one-shot (challenge for Dawn of These Clans)!**

* * *

 **Main Characters: Cloudfire, Ashblaze, Darkthorn, Ravenfang, Ashkit**

 **Side Characters: Cinderstar, Sorrelflight, Rockpaw, Stormsky, Bluegaze, Rainheart, Minteyes, Echokit, Snowkit**

* * *

 **Now, onto the one-shot...**

I open my jaws slightly, tasting the air, and turning my head in the direction I had come, to see if any cat had followed me here. I feel the wind whip against my face, and I lower my head a little, my paws skimming against the ground. Then, I stop. It should be somewhere here.

I sniff the ground cautiously, and the breeze parts the tall grass to reveal what I am looking for: a natural hole in the ground, possibly formed by water, as could be guessed from the perfectly smooth dirt walls of the hole. It's not just a hole; it's a tunnel, and I had been coming here ever since I was a young apprentice. Slowly, I descend into the darkness of the tunnel, but I know that it will soon be lighter.

The narrow, dark area of the tunnel soon opens up into a meadow that somehow seems to glow with all the brightness of the sun that I had left behind when I came down here. I am sitting in the center of a wide clearing which is surrounded by trees that hold small blossoms that are a very pale blue. I purr to myself as petals slowly flutter to the ground.

The clearing is almost circular in shape, and, like an island, is surrounded by a small, gentle river, that is fueled by a waterfall in the distance. There are two tunnels into this clearing: one is that which I used, and another is from another territory; both have natural paths into this clearing, across the river.

I shake out my pure white fur, then settle down, curling my long, feathery tail around my paws, and waiting, light blue eyes gleaming.

Almost immediately, the path from ShadowClan territory is occupied, and a handsome, dark gray tom pads across the river and into the clearing. Smiling, I jump to my paws, bounding over to him, and the two of us touch noses and twine our tails together.

"How is life in ThunderClan, Cloudpaw?" I love the sound of his soft voice; it makes me feel warm inside.

I press against him. "I got my warrior name, Ashpaw. Cinderstar named me Cloudfire."

"That is a beautiful name," the gray tom agrees. "I have my warrior name, too. My name is Ashblaze." The ShadowClan tom rubs his fur against me, and I lower my narrow, feminine head to press it against his, a gesture of the strong love between the two of us. We had met in this place, and the two of us had discovered it for the first time, then. We repeatedly meet each other here, and it symbolizes every relationship between us.

I smile. "Is everything all right in ShadowClan?"

"Yes, it is." Ashblaze twitches his tail-tip, and he pricks his ears, only to flatten them again. I shoot him a questioning glance, and he shakes his head. "It was just the river." There is a long pause between us. "This is a beautiful place. Do you remember when we found it?"

"Yeah, I do," I agree, and the two of us are both lost in thought. Then, I am jolted back to the present as I recall why I insisted that we meet. "Ashblaze! I almost forgot to tell you!" I use my tail to flick his cheek gently.

Ashblaze's dark blue eyes betray worry. "What is it, Cloudfire?"

My light blue eyes shine with a newfound hope and love for him. "Ashblaze, I'm expecting kits." There is a pause, and Ashblaze stares at me in confusion. "These will be _your_ kits, Ashblaze." Almost immediately, Ashblaze presses against me with such a force that I have to use my tail to not fall to one side.

"That's wonderful, Cloudfire!"

I pull away and face the gray ShadowClan tom with anxiety in my gaze. "But what will I tell ThunderClan? They can't know that you're the father. That would be terrible for both you and me, as well as for the kits." The smile doesn't drain from Ashblaze's gentle face.

"There's a cat in your clan - Ravenfang - who's been padding after you for moons, now," Ashblaze mews calmly. "You can tell ThunderClan that those are _his_ kits, and no cat will ever know about... well... _us."_ I force out a purr, feeling the warm greenleaf breeze swirl swiftly around the two of us. His tail wraps protectively around me, and I know that he feels the same way I do, that nothing can ever separate us.

"Ashblaze, I should go, now." I pull apart from the ShadowClan cat. "I'm sorry, but Minteyes wants me back in camp before the sun goes down."

"All right, then." I try to ignore the look of hurt on Ashblaze's face. "I'll meet you again, as soon as I can, okay?" In reply, I nod, and after touching noses once more, we part, heading for our separate clans, and I turn and pad away into the tunnels once more, scaling my way up the gentle slope, and back into ThunderClan territory.

I cast a longing glance across the ShadowClan border before turning and bounding away.

* * *

"ShadowClan is on our territory!" I cast a pitying glance at Rockpaw, as the black tom had probably been sent from the border back to camp. His amber eyes betray his exhaustion, and his breath comes in short gasps. _ShadowClan?_

Almost immediately, Cinderstar, our clan leader, is at Rockpaw's side. "I need a strong patrol," she ordered, shaking out her thick, silver fur and lashing her tail. "I want... Silvershadow, Bluegaze, Rainheart, Stormsky, and... uh..."

"I'll go," I volunteer quickly, stepping forward. _I hope I'll see Ashblaze._

"Cloudfire, you're-"

I cut Cinderstar off briskly. "They won't be here for a long while, Cinderstar. I'm sure I can fight in this battle."

"All right. Let's go, ThunderClan." The silver-furred she-cat's hazy blue eyes narrow with interest, and, while the rest of the battle patrol bounds ahead, Cinderstar slows, padding alongside me. "I've never seen you so keen to fight, Cloudfire. What's so special about _this_ battle?"

"Uh..." I fumble for an answer. "It's just that..."

"No, Cloudfire." Cinderstar holds up her tail to stop me. "You don't have to tell me if you don't want to." Without waiting for my reply, she bounds ahead, charging down the slope, acting more like a leader than she had when speaking to me, a few heartbeats before. "ThunderClan!" she yowled, racing into the battle that raged ahead of them. "Attack!"

I sprint after Silvershadow and slam into an unsuspecting ShadowClan she-cat. She whips around, her claws slicing a narrow gash in the tip of my left ear, and I let out a furious hiss, my hind legs kicking out at her underbelly. The she-cat's teeth fasten firmly in my scruff, and I rear upwards, raking my claws directly across her face. The she-cat yowls and races away.

 _See, Cinderstar? I can fight in this battle!_ I spring towards a gray-furred ShadowClan tom, then stop short, realizing that it was Ashblaze, and launch myself at a tom I knew as Darkthorn. He turns and slashes his claws across my cheek. I yowl at the stinging pain and grab his forepaw in my teeth. He twists, kicking out, and as his paws strike my chest, I am thrown back, and I strike the ground hard.

Immediately, Darkthorn is on top of me, and his sharp claws are pressing against my throat. I wriggle free, jumping to my paws, and Darkthorn hisses angrily, and his claws glint in the sunlight as he leaps towards my exposed neck, claws unsheathed.

I jump back as a shadow jumps in front of me. Darkthorn leans back, horrified, but his claws have found their mark. I stare down to see who had taken the deadly blow for me, and I let out a gasp of horror and fury. _Ashblaze!_

Anger fuels my newfound strength as I leap at Darkthorn, and this time, without hesitation, I rake my claws across his throat. The empty look in Ashblaze's glazed blue eyes will haunt me forever. "Goodbye, Ashblaze." _I should have been there to save you._

I know the battle hasn't ended, yet I turn and run from the sight of Ashblaze's limp body. _This is all my fault!_

* * *

"Well done, Cloudfire." Minteyes rests her paw on my swollen belly before dropping a few leaves at my stonelike paws. "This is borage. It will help your milk come. As for now, you and Ravenfang should name your kits." She calls out the dark gray tom's name, and heartbeats later, the warrior pads into the nursery.

"You've done well, Cloudfire!" Ravenfang mewed, sitting beside me. "What do you want to name our kits?" _They're not your kits!_ I bite back the furious exclamation, and force myself to speak calmly to the cat everyone believes is my mate.

"There are two she-cats and one tom," I mew.

Ravenfang nods. "You name them. I was never very good at this sort of thing." He purrs in amusement, twitching his whiskers.

I dip my head with cold politeness. "This one is Echokit," I mew, resting my tail on a slender ginger she-cat. I point a soft paw towards the other she-cat, a pure white one, like me. "This is Snowkit." I turn to the final kit, the tom. He looked hauntingly like Ashblaze, and I was grateful that part of my mate's spirit lived on in his son. "And this one... is Ashkit."

"Those are beautiful names," a voice mews, from the back of the den, and Sorrelflight, a heavily pregnant queen, pads toward us.

"They are beautiful kits," Ravenfang adds, nuzzling one of the she-cats gently.

I smile to myself, watching the three kits suckle at my belly. Ashkit, the little gray tom, looks up and blinks his beautiful blue eyes at me, the eyes that once belonged to his father. _Oh, Ashblaze, I wish you could see your kits!_

I love these kits with all my heart, and I know it. Echokit is named for the legacy she holds, Snowkit for the pale snow-like petals in the beautiful tunnels where Ashblaze and I first me, and Ashkit, for his father. Looking at the three of them makes me long for Ashblaze even more than before. _You shouldn't have done it, Ashblaze. Why did you have to go?_

* * *

My kits are now three moons old, and they have learned to eat fresh-kill now. I am glad, for now, I am free to join Ashblaze if I wish. I had told the clan that I was going to get a drink from the lake, and they had never suspected a thing. But I'm not going to drink water. I'm going to visit my grave.

I look up to the sky, and one star seems to shine brighter than the rest. _Is that you, Ashblaze?_

I see my destination, now. It is the gorge. Without warning, I begin to run. I run away from the clan, from all I have caused in my life. I would never have thought an innocent friendship with Ashblaze could have caused so much. I run, faster, faster now. I hear Ashblaze's voice in my head. _"No, Cloudfire. You can't do this!"_

And, for the first time, I keep on running.

I throw myself over the edge, feeling myself fall to the darkness below. The waves swiftly rush along, pulling my unresisting body with them. My spirit soars up to the sunset sky, and I purr to myself, in my head, and race down a slope to the welcoming meadows of StarClan. I know now that Ashblaze and I will be together again. And this time, it will be forever.

However hard it may be to leave the living world and willingly join the ranks of StarClan, I find that to willingly step into a world of death means that I will never grow, and never know the courage that living takes.

Because I ran from the living world, and towards death. I was a coward.

I ran away.

 **Thanks for reading!**


End file.
